College Dib
by Ces
Summary: Dib's finally made it to college! Who's his roomate?....*dramatic suspence*
1. College at Last!

Yes, I'm writing another fan-fic. This one's a bit different, they're in college! They begging might be boring, but it'll get better – PROMISE!! So enjoy!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Once again, I am not Jhonen Vansquez. I was never Jhonen Vansquez, and I will never be Jhonen Vansquez. SOOOOO…I will never, or ever, or have ever own or owned any of the Invader Zim characters – Jhonen does. He is the genius, not me (get it?). Also, I do not run Nickelodeon or work for them, so I do not have anything to do with Invader Zim except be a loyal fan, and passionately hate the BUM. SO PLEASE DON'T SUE ME – I'M ONLY 16 (yes, sad, I know – but 17 in like 15 days!)!!! Once again, this was brought to you by boredom…and insanity – can't forget my insanity!! For much insane am I. Woah…. I sound like Yoda! No, I don't own him either – so don't sue me George Lucas! Yes, I a m rather paranoid – one of my many gifts ^_^ (or is it a curse?). Errr…yea. That's it. Now why are my Disclaimer's ALWAYS longer than my intro's? The world may nevein his book again. Gaz glared at him and he could hear the familiar sounds of her GSX. He was so tempted to throw that thing out the window, but dared not too, remembering the last time he did that she threw HIM out the window.  
  
It has been ages since he'd done any real studies on the paranormal of his own. Not like the Middle Skool days when Zim first came to Earth. But when his dad got transferred to St. Louis, the whole family had to move. Dib hated that day…for her knew he wouldn't be able to stop Zim from whatever evil stuff he was up to. Oh sure, they fought online, sent new virus's to each other they had built themselves, and sent explosive devises in the mail to each other, but besides those minor annoyances – that's all they could do. They would play violent online games to see who "was the best" as well, Dib mostly won since Gaz would give him tips. Zim unfortunately, was clever in sending stuff in the mail. One time, Dib remembered, Zim had sent him a small bomb that blew up when he opened it. Yea…those were the good days. He was surprised Zim hadn't taken over the Earth without Dib there…then again, Zim was a moron.  
  
But finally, he had made it out of the tortures of the popular kid's from high skool, and into the mature (hopefully) kids of college. College, he couldn't believe it! Dib was so happy the day he'd got the acceptance from Harvard University. Being the son of Professor Membrane helped when it came to college searches. But Dib knew he'd do well. He always got A's in middle skool and high skool. So he had to do well in college. Finally, they pulled up to the university's driveway. Dib put his book down and looked out the window wide-eyed. This was it. He smiled down at Gaz.  
  
"Well Gaz, after this, you won't be seeing much of me!"  
  
Gaz smiled too, but more of an evil grin than a smile. "Thank god." Looks up at him hopeful "Can I have your room?"  
  
"Gaz!"  
  
"Kidding…kidding." ::muttering:: "yea right…"  
  
They got out of the car and carried all of Dib's boxes full of computer stuff and stuff for him, and made it to the very crowded elevator. Everyone stared at them as if they were insane. Dib tried not to look at them. The doors opened and they made his way towards his dorm. Dib dropped off all of his stuff on his bed. He called the top bunk since his roommate wasn't here yet. He wondered what his roommate would be like as he said goodbye to his family (well…his father anyway, Gaz completely ignored him () and he began to set up as they left. Only shortly after did they leave, he heard a nock on the door. Excited to see who his roommate was, he jumped down from his top bunk and ran for the door… 


	2. The Roommate ::dramatic music::

Yea, it's me again. Hi! I'm finally doing these chapter thingies…not like my other two fan-fics (The Pizza Invasion, and The Hideous New Kid). But…welcome to CHAPTER TWO!! Woah…two whole chapters! Don't you feel special? N/m. I'm surprised you're still reading this STUFF. Take a wild guess who the roommate is ::wink, wink::. ::sighs:: but it WILL get better…promise. How about a nice review? ::gives Gir puppy-eyed face:: pwease? I don't mind flammers (not that I've gotten any ::shifty eyes::) so feel free!  
  
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CAHRACTERS! I DO NOT OWN NICK! I DO NOT WORK FOR NICK! ALL RIGHTS RESERVED (blah, blah, blah)! JHONEN VANSQUEZ OWNS ALL!!! BOW TO HIM MEATBAG! NOW I SAID BOW ….NOW!!!! YOUR STILL NOT BOWING! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAH ::chokes:: MWAHAHAHAHHA! ::takes a deep breath from screaming/laughing:: sorry, got carried away. Hehe…anywho … READ!!!! AND ENJOY!!!! WHY AM I STILL YELLING?!?! Oh yea, I don't own the Twilight Zone or The X-Files. Chris Charter owns X-Files, and I have no clue who owns Twilight Zone, just….SOMEONE ELSE! ::sighs:: too bad they don't make the fine print that's very important and everyone skips this fun as FFN (FanFiction.net)'s disclaimers do! So don't sue me – that's the whole point of the disclaimers!!! ::sigh:: another disclaimer longer than the introductions…anyone else see something wrong with that??  
  
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Chapter Two: The Roommate ::dramatic music:  
  
Dib's eyes widened when he saw the tall, familiar figure glaring at him through the door.  
  
"Hello DIB" said the somewhat taller green kid whom we all know as Zim. Zim tried to act as surprised as Dib was.  
  
Dib's jaw practically dropped to the floor when he saw him. "Zim?" Dib gulped. "You're… you're my roommate?"  
  
"Why of coarse I am, stupid!" He said as he walked inside and shoved Dib to the floor. He glanced down at Dib to see how he's changed since they last saw each other in 8th grade. "I see you haven't changed any." He said at last. "Still the stupid stink-beast worm baby."  
  
Dib glared at him, but it was true – he hasn't changed any. Dib was a little taller, but he still had that spiked hair that was slicked back, and he still had a trench coat with the frowning smiley face, and the same thick black glasses on his giant head. Zim hadn't changed much either. Only growing about a couple of feet, he was still green and he hadn't changed his disguise at all. Nor, to Dib's disappointment, did his personality change.  
  
"Still trying to take over the world ZIM?"  
  
"I'm not trying, I practically have!"  
  
"Yea right." Looks worried "Their MUST be some kind of mistake! You can't be my roommate!" Eyes him suspiciously "How'd you get into Harvard anyway?"  
  
"Like it was hard? Besides, I'm the genius here." He snickered as he goes into a flashback of how he DID acutely get into Harvard (because Zim's still a moron, as we all know ^_^)  
  
::a wave of smoke goes by Zim and Dib and we are in a FLASHBACK! Yes, cue twilight Zone theme music now! Rod Sterling (I think that's the dude that hosts the show) enters the "stage"…::  
  
You are now entering a new dimension of sound, sight, and mind. You are now entering ((duh, dun, duh!)) The Twilight Zone!!! (Zim's voice in background) "Of Doom…Twilight Zone of Doom!" ::Rod sighs:: Very well. ::sighs:: you are now entering the Twilight Zone of DOOM. Happy now? (Zim's voice) yes! ::cue Twilight Zone music again…::  
  
It was almost a year ago, and Zim had to pick a college so he would be considered a "normal" human – since most human stink-worm children go to college after high skool. He wanted it to be a respectable one, so people would respect him. If he had their respect, than he could mind-control him somehow he thought, if they respected him. It was late at night and he was researching for colleges, ignoring Gir's constant racket.  
  
"Computer…tell me more about this filthy 'college'"  
  
As the computer told him about STUFF that is boring and unnecessary to the plot (::yawns:: I NEED a plot bunny ::shifty eyes::…don't ask!), he saw a advertisement for Harvard University.  
  
"Computer, what are my chances of getting into this 'Harvard University'?"  
  
"No chance sir"  
  
"Oh yea?!?" Waves his fists angrily "We'll see about – no one rejects the all-mighty Zim…NO ONE!!"  
  
He grabs Gir and races to his Voot-Cruiser.  
  
Gir looks excited, more so than usual. He screeched "OOOOO!!! Where are we going?"  
  
"I'll tell you Gir…"  
  
"WHERE ARE WE GOING?"  
  
::rolls his eyes:: "We're going to Harvard University of Doom!"  
  
"ooooo!!! Do they make Piggies?"  
  
"No Gir, they make stupid people stupider!"  
  
"OOOO….can I come?" ::starts singing the doom song::  
  
He ignored that last stupid comment and flew off to Harvard. In no time, he was at the administration offices.  
  
"Ok Gir, your job is simple. Stay here, guard the Voot Cruiser, and DON'T MAKE ANY NOISE!"  
  
Gir saluted and Zim was off. He used his spider-legs and crawled on the side of the building to the window of the acceptance office of doom. He crawled inside. There was someone working VERY late there, to Zim's surprise. He pulled out a hypnotizing beam of doom (which he made himself) and fired it at the person. He handed the dude working there his application, and made the person put it in the "accepted no matter what" pile. But just then, Gir came flying in the window! (oh yea, talk about suspense here people. ::rolls eyes::)  
  
"GIR! What are you doing here?"  
  
"I WANT A PIGGIE!"  
  
"I told you Gir – they don't make Piggies!"  
  
"Awwww…why not?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I don't know Gir!"  
  
"Why…"  
  
"SILIENCE GIR!"  
  
Gir gave his sad puppy eyed (you know, the one from 'Bad, Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy'? Makes me go "awwww" every time () face at Zim.  
  
"It's not my fault Gir!" But it was too late, Gir jumped on Zim and hugged him as if Zim were the piggy! Zim waved around until Gir let go and forced Zim to fall over a cabinet, knocking down important files of STUFF and making a HUGE mess! Zim looked annoyed and glanced around the files. On top of the manila folders, were the student's names of who was going to be a new freshman this year. But one name caught his attention: Dib Membrane. It was that horrible human who was the only one (and still the only one) who knew his true identity (that he was an alien…duh!). His eyes narrowed at the folder, to think, they that he would be going to skool once again with his arch rival. He thought about that for a while, at the same time the poor person who he hypnotized earlier had spinning red swirl eyes and a dazed look like Gir always had. He picked it up and glared as he saw a picture of a smiling Dib on the front, paper-clipped to a bunch of STUFF, which once again is not important to the plot. Oh how he wanted to rip the picture in shreds! He glared at that cute smile on Dib's face and wanted to make that into a look of horror as Zim killed him! Then Zim laughed out loud in his evil, yet cute way. If HE was Dib's roommate, then he could find out all kind of Dib's secretes. Or at the very least, annoy him until Dib can't take it anymore and move out of the skool and he becomes a failure, and no longer a threat to Zim's mission. There is more smoke as Zim continues to laugh evillishly-cute ((oooo…another of my own words! Spiffy!)) and Rod Starling comes back. "You are now leaving the Twilight Zone…::sighs:: of doom. I don't know how you did, but you did. Not many people can leave the Twilight Zone (Zim's voice, faint but still noticeable) OF DOOM! ::Rod, ignoring Zim:: but I suppose the Narrator ((ahem, me!)) got bored, or tired, or had to do homework…or maybe just bored….but for whatever the reason, you are now leaving ((duh dun duh!)) The Twilight Zone (TZ) ::cue TZ music:: (Zim's voice) OF DOOM…The Twilight Zone of DOOM!!!!! ::smoky-smoke comes back and you see the dorm room of doom again::  
  
But Zim decided to leave that part out to Dib. Dib has another annoyed look on his face as Zim hopped on the top bunk.  
  
"Hey Zim – that's mine!"  
  
Zim smiled evilly, he knew this was a good idea! "Not anymore DIB! It's mine!" He throws the stuff over the side, and Dib runs to catch it. Zim peeled off all of Dib's alien posters, and especially the one "I want you to believe" (ya know, like Mulder had in his office of The X-Files:: cue X- Files theme song::) and it landed on Dib's HUGE, GIGANTIC head.  
  
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Woah… you made it past the second chapter! Well, I hope you've enjoyed it. Lots of things on my mind right now – so perhaps that's why it's not so good. I will post Chapter Three soon. It's full of STUFF so please come back and read it. And I'm not sure if Rod Starling was the host of Twilight Zone or not, but I think so. Correct me if I'm wrong, been ages since I've seen Twilight Zone. I got bored, oh so very, very, very bored – can you tell? 


	3. The Gir Hug

YAY! Chapter three. And the peasants rejoice! ::false enthusiasm:: yay…. ((hehe gotta love Monty Python! And no, I don't own that either – I'm not even British!)). Anywho, I have no idea where this thingy thing of doom is going, except doom. So with the theme song for Samuri Jack (a very awesome show, don't ask – and I DON'T own that either) in my head, and little inspiration, I just type and hope it's good. ::sigh:: lack of inspiration – good thing I'm bored. Sorry about the stupid tittle couldn't think of anything else. And it relates to the chapter. Oh so bored! Stupid punishment! A little word of advise – don't sneak internet in your room behind parents back, they're bound to find out when the package arrives in the mail ; p. Now I'm grounded until summer – again! Oh, yay, now it's time for the disclaimer…more "rejoicing". Stupid government and their stupid laws…I mean ::shifty eyes:: ::whistle's innocently and walks away::…  
  
Disclaimer: yippy…ANOTHER disclaimer. ::sighs:: Jhonen Vansquez owns all Invader Zim characters. He created the show, he is the genius. I DID NOT create the show I AM NOT the genius (and I don't think you bowed to him yet ::evil glare::). I do not work for Nick, Nick airs the show. All rights reserved and all that crap. Stupid disclaimers…. ::sigh:: there – I said it. Now you can't sue me ::sticks tongue out immaturely::. Wow, for once the introduction was longer than the disclaimer – it's a miracle! Mmmm….I could use some coffee right now…coffee….::runs off to Starbucks – which is evil! And will be out of business in thirty years! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! I mean, I didn't say that::  
  
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Chapter Three: The Gir Hug (why oh why are you still reading this? Bored too? You poor doomed child)  
  
Dib took his poster off his head and narrowed his eyes at Zim. He could tell this was going to be a very long year. When he was done resetting his stuff, he got up and walked towards the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" Zim asked Dib suspiciously.  
  
"Like I'm going to tell you. Why do you care anyway?"  
  
"Because DIB, you could be trying to stop me!"  
  
"Stop you?" eyes him suspiciously "from what?"  
  
"Errr…nothing."  
  
"Tell me!"  
  
"NEVER!" Zim lunged on Dib and started to strangle him. Just then, there was a nock on the door. It was the hall monitor person thingy. She opened the door and looked in. She looked down at them.  
  
"Are you two alright?"  
  
"Oh just fine" said Dib as he shoved Zim off him "having an alien for a roommate is just fine."  
  
She gave Dib a weird look as Zim shook his head.  
  
"I am a normal human boy. This kid is a freak…and his head is big."  
  
The lady eyed Dib suspiciously "Well, his head IS big. That must mean is crazy."  
  
Dib was furious. "I am not crazy! ::points to Zim:: He's an alien – and my head's not big!"  
  
Zim and the lady began laughing so hard that the lady's eyes were watering.  
  
"Sure kid, whatever you say." Slams the door behind her and goes somewhere that isn't important to the story (or is it? Hehehe… cue x-files music again!).  
  
Dib glared at Zim and walked towards the door again. Just then, there was a rat-tat-tat ((ooo…personification, man I pay too much attention at skool! EVIL SKOOL!)) on the window. Zim smiled and opened it up. Gir climbed through with some more of Zim's stuff. "Excellent Gir, glad you could make it." He said as he grabbed his stuff.  
  
Gir hopped on Dib's bed and curled up on the pillow, falling asleep.  
  
"Wait a minute!" protested Dib "that…that thing can't live here!"  
  
"Why not? I can't just leave him in my lab" Zim shuddered "he'd destroy it!"  
  
"Well he's not sleeping in my bed!" Dib picked up Gir to throw at Zim, but Gir waved at Dib and hugged him. Zim was laughing insanely and watched Gir "attack" Dib. Finally, both Gir and Dib came crashing on Dib's bed. Dib struggled to pull Gir off, but Gir hugged him so tight that Dib was started to turn blue.  
  
"Zim! Get him off me!"  
  
But Zim kept laughing, enjoying this all so much.  
  
"Hey, Gir was it? Gir, I'll give you a taco!"  
  
Gir looked at Dib, still clinging on to him. "Taco?"  
  
"Yes Gir, a big juicy taco! Just…just get off me!"  
  
"Ok!" Gir looks at Dib "hey, first you give me a taco!"  
  
Dib looked annoyed. "Fine, lets go Gir." And Dib got up and walked towards the door, face turning purple. Zim's eyes widened.  
  
"What are you doing with my robot?"  
  
Dib rolled his eyes, gasping for air "getting him a taco."  
  
"NOOO! Not without his disguise!" looks annoyed "Fine. Gir, get off him!"  
  
"But I want a taco!"  
  
"NOW GIR!"  
  
"awww….I want a taco!" Gir slid off Dib and gave Zim the puppy-eyed face again. Dib breathed heavily and collapsed on the bed. Dib, slowly turning back to normal, got up and glared at Zim.  
  
"He could have killed me!"  
  
"Your point?"  
  
Dib glared at Zim and got ready for bed, then went to sleep. Trying to ignore Gir, who was sleeping on his head.  
  
***  
  
The days went by very slow. The two enemies annoyed each other as much as they could. It seemed as if they had all the classes together (another of Zim's doing). Zim would throw Dib paper airplanes that exploded when it hit Dib's head in English, and in Science Dib would try and expose Zim to the professor. But of coarse, no one believed him. At nights, Zim would stay in the dorm and plan for his next big idea to destroy Earth, and Dib would go somewhere – anywhere to get away from Zim. However, one night, Dib was gone very late. Zim glanced at the clock – it was 3:30 in the morning and Dib hadn't returned yet. Not that he was worried about the stink-beast, it's just that Dib could be anywhere. Even exposing him! Now that they lived together, it could be very easy for Dib to snap a picture of Zim when Zim wasn't looking. Zim shuddered, but no, Zim had a close eye on Dib – they're was no way Dib could have gotten "evidence". But where could he be?  
  
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Wow…another chapter done. Hehe a cliffhanger too! I think I'll wait a while to publish the next one…just to keep you in suspense. But alas, the boredom got to me too. So now, I have to write more! MORE! MWAHHAHAHAHAAHHA ::chokes:: MWAHAHAHAHA! Why am I laughing? ::bows head in shame:: I do not know. Is it getting better or should I just stop? PLEASE TELL ME BY REVIEWING!!! I CAN HANDEL THE HARSH TRUTH!!!!! No really, if it sucks tell me! I could go on forever with this pointless story. Why? I don't know! I should be writing my other story, and my story for English, but errr…you know… 


	4. Dib's Story of Dramatic Doom

Yes, another chapter again. ::sigh:: I don't know why I'm continuing it. Maybe this will be the last chapter, but probably not. So bored ::bangs head on desk:: so…I write! With Caviar playing from my computer, kitty on my lap, I continue my sad story of doom….  
  
Disclaimer: Ok, these things are getting annoying!!! I do not own Invader Zim. We all SHOULD know by now that Jhonen Vansquez owns all…and we all SHOULD have bowed to him by now. Ten points if you did. Forty points if you did it every chapter! Points to what? I do not know. Anyway, I do not own Nick, I do not own X-files, I do not own Twilight Zone. All rights reserved. The ONLY people that I DO own is the people who Dib are talking about. Their language is gibberish I made up, just like my own grammar and spelling. Confused? Good. That's the point, nothing is supposed to make since…like these stupid disclaimers!  
  
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1 Chapter Four: Dib's Story of Dramatic Doom  
  
Zim stared at the door, hoping Dib would come back soon. It's not normal for stink-worm humans to be out this late. Knowing Dib, he was with other paranormal freaks exposing Zim right now! Zim couldn't stand it any long – where was he? He glanced at the clock again, 4:00am. Maybe Dib is dead thought Zim hopefully, but then I won't be able to kill him! This is horrible!! I must kill him, ME INVADER ZIM! Oh but what should I do? That stink-beast could be anywhere! Wait a minute, what was that? Why am I still talking to myself? HELLO! Zim heard a key trying to get through the door and the knob turning. He leapt off his top bunk and looked through the peep- whole thingy. It was Dib. Finally. He opened the door and glared at Dib, but Dib wasn't looking himself. His eyes were baggy and he looked more paranoid than usual.  
  
"Dib? Are you…err…"  
  
"Zim!" He said desperately "Zim! They're…they're after me! Hid me…please!" Dib fell on Zim from exhaustion, obviously from running.  
  
"What…happened?" Asked Zim suspiciously. Dib just smiled at him stupidly.  
  
"Your one of them, aren't you?"  
  
"One of who?" Asked Zim as he set Dib down on his bed. "Who's after you Dib?"  
  
"Them….the aliens – more aliens!"  
  
Now, this was starting to sound like Dib.  
  
"More aliens? Other than me? Impossible – this is my planet!"  
  
Dib shook his head "They are not like you…::coughs:: they are worse. They did stuff to me! Horrible stuff! Zim, they want to kill me. Told me I was, I was a key! Hide me Zim! They know where to find me!" Dib spoke frailly and he looked pale in the face.  
  
"Hide you? You want me to help you?"  
  
Dib gave him a defeated look and nodded. He looked down at the ground, unable to look Zim in the eyes.  
  
"Please Zim, no one else would believe me. They'll be coming soon, coming to kill me!"  
  
"Alright, I'll help you." Glares at Dib "But only because I want to be the person killing you! Now, I can't help you if I don't know what you're talking about. So tell me everything."  
  
Dib nodded and Zim sat down next to him. It felt weird for Zim, to be helping his arch rival. But that desperate look in Dib's eyes left him no choice. And so Dib told his story…  
  
"Alright, I'll tell everything. It started at 8:00pm, when I left the library from studying on some alien theories, when I left to come back here. It was then I saw it, a brilliant flashing light of blue, coming from the sky. Curious, I ran towards the light, it was clear on the other side of town, but I ran anyway, thinking it could be more aliens or stuff. Finally, I reached the light. I stepped into it, which probably wasn't a smart thing to do, but I did anyway. The next thing I know is the light was lifting me up to the sky! And then I blacked out. When I came to, I had no clue where I was. I only knew that my head hurt and I felt all funny.  
  
I looked around and there were strange people dressed in black, and had black capes and sunglasses. They were all staring at me I tried to get away, but I was all chained up on some kind of table. They were talking amongst themselves, in a weird language. The weird thing was, I could understand every word of it. Their leader seemed to be hovering over my right shoulder, also looking at me as if I were food."  
  
"I'm not surprised" Zim interrupted "That head of yours could feed a whole army for a year!"  
  
Dib glared at Zim, although you could hardly make it out as a glare since he was so weak.  
  
"Anyway, like I was saying, I could understand this language. They ignored me as they talked."  
  
((You could see them hovering over Dib, in his errr… "story" but they were talking gibberish. You see English subtitles in white words under the screen. (in "")))  
  
" Cho che cha chugana mosa visa?' "what do we want with this kid again?" asked the person near my feet to the leader  
  
'Aruaga movia watsa meatsa saysa?' "weren't you paying attention in the meeting, moron?" responded the leader.  
  
'hassa? Ne.' What? Me? No."  
  
'huchoa fiendsa! Watcha fashsa muyo kitsfa muaosloia howset swa ku. Whyo meka saysa! Sachu icca mroisa portise saysa!' "yes you! As I said before, we need the kid for the key. The key to the portal moron!"  
  
Another person asked the leader, 'Portise? Portise ni shou?' "Portal? Portal to what?"  
  
The leader looked annoyed. 'Sahcu portise meka wh ose qunder torl wria lawer!' "The portal for the underworld which will unleash great power! That way we can rule the world of man once we gain the power!"  
  
"Sahu torl fo mia? "The world of man?"  
  
Leader: "Yes, world of man! Then we will rule the universe!"  
  
dude: 'wha su te ne na bo?' "why would we want to do that?"  
  
((::yawns:: I'm tired of making up my own language, so you get the idea. Now just English – remember, Dib's telling the story now.))  
  
other dude: "what about the kid after we get the key?"  
  
leader: "stupid! The kid is the key, the key to the portal, through that giant head he knows how to open it, errr…but he won't remember how to. As for the kid, once what we have what we want – he will be terminated, for by then he will know to much – and would be a major threat to our empire!"  
  
yet another dude: "but if he doesn't remember it – then how is he going to help us?"  
  
I looked annoyed with them. "Let me go!" ::stuggles, but was bound to the table::  
  
The leader laughed coldly. "Why would we do that?"  
  
I glared at them "Because I'll never help you! Who are you guys anyway?"  
  
"Us? Oh but who we are isn't important at all!"  
  
"It isn't?"  
  
"No, but you are." They hovered over my head, which isn't big, and smiled a creepy smile with me.  
  
"But I don't remember anything about a key!"  
  
"Oh but you do, we just have to go deep in your brain to dig it up!" He held up some shinny scissors and was about to cut open my brain! I screamed and tried to get away.  
  
"If you kill me, you won't get the information!"  
  
"Oh but we don't have to kill you, we'll let you live for a while. And we'll cut everything up besides what you need to live."  
  
"We need a new script-writer!"  
  
"Yes, the monkeys were getting tired." ((The "camera" shows a room in the studio with monkeys typing on old typewriters.))  
  
"NOOOOO!!!! LET ME GO!"  
  
Well, I don't know what exactly happened after that, but there were a bunch of blasting sounds and the next thing I know I was free, and back into town. I sprinted back here, I think they were going to find me here, but saw me over there. Zim…what do I do?"  
  
"Oh this truly is wonderful! You asking me for help! MWHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"Zim! We don't have time for this!" Looks really paranoid. "I need to hide, they'll kill me if they find me. I don't want my brain cut up Zim!"  
  
"Oh, this is ironic! How many times have you threatened me by putting me in an autopsy? And now that it's your turn – you suddenly see how scary those things are? I'm wondering if I should even help you." Dib gave him a pleading look.  
  
"Please Zim! You said you'd help me if I told you!" Zim stared at him… his worst enemy, asking him for help.  
  
"True, I did…but when I have I kept my promises to stink-humans like you?"  
  
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Done with ANOTHER chapter. Hey, we've got a plot finally, errr…I think we do anyway! YAYNESS! Anywho, will Zim help Dib? Or will Dib's giant head be cut up and stuff? Find out by reading…yea, pathetic err…ending thingy I know – but err… it's something. So at least two more chapters and then I'm putting this story to rest. Finally eh? Again, tell me if it sucks so I don't continue writing crap and waist all our time – ok? K. 


	5. Welcome to the Insainity!!!!!!! 0.o

Wow! Chapter five…you must feel really special! Nevermind, so very tired. ::yawns:: but at least the ACT's are over! Oh joy! Yea, you're going to hate Jr. year in high skool – everyone has a mental break down ::nods::. Anyway, this is chapter five. This time I decided to make the title random, because randomness is goodness, right? Right. Oh, and if there are any real writers out there (people who acutely plan to publish stuff – other than FFN) please e-mail me to say how to get past writer's block – I've had it for about a month now and it's driving me insane! Well… more insane than usual. And if anyone also knows anything, anything at all about Temporal Physics, please tell me by e-mailing: invader_zim_rp@yahoo.com. Thanks. And just tell me your from FFN, so I don't delete it! It's not for skool, but I can't tell what it is about.  
  
Disclaimer: blah, blah, blah…all rights reserved…blah, blah, blah…Jhonen Vansquez…blah, blah, blah…Nickelodeon…blah blah blah! Does that work? I hope so. Please don't sue me, I'm tired of these disclaimers. And I don't think you bowed yet….  
  
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Chapter Five: Welcome to the Insanity (told you it was random!)  
  
Dib was panicking, he didn't fully trust Zim, but he had no choice, those…things were after him.  
  
"Look Zim, just help me…then we can go back to hating each other when it's done. Ok?"  
  
"Well….I guess so. But I still hate you – and I'm only doing this so I can kill you later."  
  
"Whatever Zim…just hide me!"  
  
Zim glared at him and looked around. "Hide you? Fine, there's only one place to go! Come on Gir, come Dib."  
  
"Go? Go where?"  
  
Zim sighed and looked annoyed. "And you got into Harvard how? In my lab stupid –it's the only place they won't find you."  
  
Gir woke up and gave him a dazed look. "Piggies?"  
  
"Yes Gir, Piggies."  
  
"YAY!"  
  
Zim opened up the window and climbed out. Dib was still on the bed. "Are you coming or not?" He asked him. Dib looked up and hesitated, finally, he got up and followed Zim.  
  
"How are we getting there?" Dib asked him.  
  
"My voot-cruiser."  
  
"Your what?"  
  
"It's like a ship. GIR!"  
  
Gir got up and quickly followed them.  
  
"Gir, take Dib to the voot-cruiser, I'll meet you there. And be quite, don't want to attract any attention."  
  
Gir saluted and picked up Dib by the edge of his trench-coat. Dib looked at Zim and smiled. "Thanks Zim."  
  
"Yea, yea, yea. The ONLY reason I'm helping you so I can kill you later."  
  
"Alright Zim, have it your way. But this better not be a trap."  
  
And with that Gir was off. He took Dib to the voot-cruiser, which was hidden in some bushes under ground. Gir gently put Dib down and walked inside a bush. He pulled on a branch and the bushes spread apart and revealed a small hidden lab, which was more like a launching pad than anything else.  
  
"Come on in Mr. Big head!" Yelled Gir happily. Dib looked annoyed and followed Gir, he looked around nervously to make sure no one was coming. When the cost was clear, he stared at the voot-cruiser. Though it was tiny, it looked fast – and speed was what he needed right now. He looked at Gir.  
  
"Isn't Zim coming?"  
  
"Yes…wait, no." shrugs "I don't know!" Hugs Dib again.  
  
"Arg, Gir, please get off!" Gir saluted and slid off Dib. Gir looked up and waved at a shadowy figure that was staring at them from above.  
  
"Hi master!" But the dark figure didn't wave back. Dib squinted to get a better look at the figure…and could tell it wasn't Zim.  
  
"That's not Zim Gir!" Gir's eyes went red.  
  
"INTRUDER! INTRUDER!!" Ran around like an idiot and hit a wall. He fell backwards and sat down, playing with his hands.  
  
Instead of running, the dark figure jumped down and was now in the "lab". Dib froze – it was one of those people that had abducted him earlier! What was he going to do, and where was Zim? Was Zim working for them, and this was all a trap? He should have known…  
  
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Wow…five whole chapters! This is the longest fan-fic ever! How did I do? HUH? Hehe Dib's in trouble ^_^. Poor Dibby…::sniff:: anywho, what did you think of it? Please review! Can you tell I was bored? Yes, this was a short chapter. 


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